Voidhood

VOIDHOOD x RYAN FENNIS

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Voidhood





















PSYCHTHRILLER



Inhabitant of the room
Synonym cocoon
Hunk of gleaming metal opened up my roof
Couldn’t come too soon
Felt like my head had caved
Yet I remained unscathed
Suddenly my path was paved
Inside was Sirius fallen from the sky
The most luminous star crept out consumed my psyche
Filled the void with cosmic voice
Everybody gon’ be watching us shine so brightly
Today is the day that I flew
I’ve split the cocoon 
Take me higher, kid let go of that helium balloon

Do not sell yourself short
You are now the cellar door
Crawling out the floorboards
A walking force majeure

You might attest that I’ve been possessed
Think Regan in the Exorcist instead
Spewing out murky introspection
Garnering the affections of the many unsuspecting
I digress, we’re two minds intertwined
With something slightly more divine
Combined its feelings are now mine
Hard to define, in fact
It’s incomprehensible
Hitchcock without the tension build
Kubrick without the edibles
Not one not zero we lie somewhere in the decimals
Characters two-dimensional
Consciousness now congressional
Aim for heights no vertigo
We're climbing flights no overdose
Chasing fame not fentanyl

Can’t remember outside of last week
This star’s overexposing my memories
Sink sinking sub submarine
Mind mixed like coloured plasticine
Might make you shudder-type obscene
I can tell where it’s been
Sensing empathetically
This entity’s a refugee
It’s manifest in me
Jiminy, Jiminy
Chirping won’t ever cease
I’m not phased you see for now I’m noteworthy 
Le freak c’est chic

Winding of a pocket watch
Plugging of a socket
Watch me spike them down
Cowboy Bebop
Volleyball drop
Kyle drywall disaster
Pummelled through double brick and plaster
Over the top, over the top
It all started with the collision
Transmission within minutes
A rupture of cognition
Train hurtling through my tunnel vision
This might be the room
This might be

This might be the room, this might be the room
This might be the room, this might be the room
Hermit crab with a brand new shell
More like a shell with a brand new crab who ain’t a hermit
I’m kermit so much serotonin
Talking with the dark side but it’s more a sermon
Down down down downward spiral I’ve diverted
Gonna wanna put me in a lab my powers undetermined
But I’m so determined
Government intervention won’t prevent my ascension
Elliot pedalling to save his cosmic connection
It’s more than friendship, we co-dependent

I've got a new face
Once one now I'm two face
This is not a new phase
Not a vacation, renegade escpaing, no invasion
It's a hot news day
Secure the place straight out the gate
I'm running relays round your rat race
Time to stop and tie my shoelace, you still chasing

Eerie, eerie, eerie, eerie
Onlookers on the street yeah you wanna get a peep
Hear ye hear ye space atrocity
Exhibiting on your screen
My odyssey will make you scream
Eerie, eerie, eerie, eerie
Defines the way that I’m feeling
Manipulating your hearing
Now you want to hear me singing

Hands are purple they say that I’m punching pretty hard
Surging through my veins an energy that’s nebulous
Trickles out my fingers in a way that’s rather ominous
In my consciousness I’m building ancient greatness call me Romulus

Put me up in a French chateau
Ain’t getting cold in my snowman’s clothes
Hanging out on show like the old gallows
Get, get, get, get your Kodak mo
Do I call home? Where do I call home?
I’m so unknown that now I’m known
Milestones more modes than Miles though
Jekyll, Hyde I keep my vials close

I’ve got a new brain
Interior redecorate
Switching up the lampshades
Telescope and a fresh coat of paint
Woke up a foot above my bed levitating
Since then I haven’t put a foot on the pavement
Neck stretching, feeling feathered, face down in the lake
Black swan baby yeah I’m gliding no bourrée

Eerie, eerie, eerie, eerie
Onlookers on the street yeah you wanna get a peep
Hear ye hear ye space atrocity
Exhibiting on your screen
My odyssey will make you scream
Eerie, eerie, eerie, eerie
Defines the way that I’m feeling
Manipulating your hearing
Now you want to hear me singing

I’m Eiffel tall now
Memories a catacomb
Caving in end of thrones
Dracarys shit is blown, it’s a show
News trucks pulling up
Looking like a parking lot up on my block
Jake Gyllenhaal I kill them all for the camera
Soon as they saw me like the dogs they came bounding over
Get the shot with the plume of smoke still over my shoulder
Ribbon dancing with the yellow tape Imma home run it

They’ll no doubt try and hide me
I need you on my side, devotee
Give you the show of your lives
Now get me on those flights please

We’re breaking both the hemispheres

Glued to the seat
PVA served up to eat
City way down underneath
Countless feet crammed under seats
I don’t need to sleep
Can’t with the turbulent screams
Can’t with the petulant teens
I only have wicked bad dreams
Crash land survivor
Call me Willy Golding
Fly-lord amphibian legs unfolding
Across meridian I stretch them in the aisles for miles
Tweaking twitching toes taking phenergan from a child
All these trippers gon’ trip and fall
In this pitfall it’s pitiful like the pit bull terrier
Tearing up those toddler tots and Tonka trucks with zero fucks
So you put it down
Your kids don’t put them down
Or let them off the leash
But me, now I’ve escaped
Yeah I’m feeling kinda free
You put it down
Your kids don’t put them down
Or let them off the leash
But me, now I’ve escaped
Yeah I’m feeling kinda free
Yeah I’m feeling kinda free
No need to fear me bear my teeth

Last week we were doing night shifts
Now we on this flight shit
You could say that that’s a slight shift
A different kind of night shift
(You can’t change the world)

You can’t change the world overnight they tell me
But there’s never been a night quite as long as this
Yeah there’s never been a night quite as long

Last week we were doing night shifts
Now we on this flight shit
You could say that that’s a slight shift
Can you get it? Can you get it? Can you get it? Can you?
Different kind of night shift
Everyone’s invited
Yeah you are all on my list
Can you get it? Can you get it? Can you get it? Can you?

Pacing across the pavement
Overnight sensation
Vagrant through the vapour
Straight to stage, Lurch to the labour
Watching the kids quaver
Pulling both ways like the stars at the equator
Stay sweating laced in layers of the labels
Panting like you gave birth
Sucking on an inhaler
Pumping defibrillator
Because you’re bout to meet thy maker

Last week we were doing night shifts (the lights, the lights)
Now we on this live shit, I’m wired with it (he’s lighting up)
It’s a different kind of night shift
Forming up a wide pit
Harking to the hybrid, the hybrid
(Watch out, get down)

I-I’m dissociating, yeah I’m losing my grip
I-I’m dissociating, watching it slip
I-I’m dissociating, losing my grip
I-I’m dissociating yeah I’m feeling it flip
I-I’m dissociating, oscillating
Lifting off like elevator
Doors closing catch you later
Great glass ceiling-breaker
Sedate my heart, pacemaker

I-I-I-I’m dissociating
I-I-I-I’m dissociating
I-I-I-I’m dissociating
With my mind there’s no negotiating

I’d appreciate an indication
You’ve instigated interpolation
I’m suffering decapitation
You can drop me here, Hereditary
Burning curtains are concerning
I’m uncertain if it’s worth it
I can sense the serpents swerving
Trust the holy writ, let’s split
On the back feet in the back seat
Left a bad scene, white like a clean sheet
Cut by the screams
Languishing in the screen I’m flashing all across my feeds
Hand slipping from the rope for my own guillotine

I-I-I-I’m dissociating
I-I-I-I’m dissociating
I-I-I-I’m dissociating
Get me to my accomodation

A cold flush underneath my skin
The air around me seething thin
All sense of weight is vanishing
Purple emission drags me in
To the outer reaches of infinity
All glory gleaming in front of me
Wind leaves my chest
I’m greeted by the most sanctified mess
I had another gift and this was it
Wormhole myself to insignificance
Space burial I don’t exist

Feel myself reaching for the cord
Pulling but it just won’t come
I’ll never pull that plug
I’ll never pull that plug
Feel myself reaching for the cord
Pulling but it’s oh so long
Never pull myself in
Never pull myself in
Sinking into the abyss
It’s the good conversation that I’ll miss
Though I’ve never been a good conversationalist
I was getting better
Then I’m sucked back into life
Past the cold twinkling lights
The forever night
Though it doesn’t feel quite right
The void altered me alright
Trees appear manufactured in the streetlight
The birds of death are all asleep
Fruit bats are pillaging
I’m lured into the complementaries
Moonlit roads swirl undertow
Early morning, late night, I don’t know
Hands melt into the leather seats
Now I’m tucked up in the sheets
Between my toes they feel like home
The liquor on my lips discrete
I’m spinning round, my world Van Gogh
Dregs of lighter fluid sparking things in me

I’m losing my head up in my bed
Doing pirouettes turning like a ceiling fan
Losing my head up in my bed
Doing pirouettes turning like a ceiling fan
Losing my head up in my bed
Doing pirouettes turning like a ceiling fan
Losing my head
Flushed I’m bright red
Fumble for the side lamp
Say goodnight then
Ground scattered with the 50mls
That’ll cost you bout fifty bills
Space and back gon made me ill
Sent my head like the Kennedy kill
Swift with the blade Cottonmouth, Kill Bill
Calm the fuck down, sink in the silk
I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
I’m losing my head up in my bed
Doing pirouettes turning like a ceiling fan
Losing my head up in my bed
Doing pirouettes turning like a ceiling fan
Losing my head up in my bed
Doing pirouettes turning like a ceiling fan
Losing my head
Flushed I’m bright red
Fumble for the side lamp
Say goodnight then

Like Jack Torrance they bust through my door after midnight
Two men in uniform cuff and tie my hands tight
I got the feeling that something ain’t right
Dropped to the floor, carpet burn
Malcolm, I’m stuck in the middle alright
Worried this could go Van Gogh
Hoping this don’t go Van Gogh
They must’ve been at the show
They must’ve seen the stage implode, me lose control
Paint me as a misanthrope
If that’s what I do when I’m unprovoked
The fuck I’m about to do who knows?

Good cop, bad cop
I’ll see you at the bag drop
Going everywhere from Berlin to Bangkok
You won the lotto hit the jackpot
We’re gonna condition you, Pavlov
Fellas, fellas, you know I’m not a felon
The only record I’ve got is the one that’s out there selling
And if you think that you can hold me-

Here’s the situation; you will watch what’s on the screen
Listen to these tones until they permeate your dreams
Forget about a career whatever you were trying to achieve
We’ll say you overdosed, the drugs were seized, you’ll disappear 370

Like Jack Torrance they bust through my door after midnight
Two men in uniform cuff and tie my hands tight
Not even knocking yeah that shit ain’t polite
Dropped to the floor, carpet burn
Malcolm, I’m stuck in the middle alrightWorried this could go Van Gogh
Hoping this don’t go Van Gogh
They must’ve been at the show
They must’ve seen the stage implode, me lose control
Paint me as a misanthrope
If that’s what I do when I’m unprovoked
The fuck I’m bout to do who knows?

Boot into the stomach
Fists rain down upon me
Sound tearing through my head
If you want the pain to end
Take the pill it is your friend
Swallow the hurting ceases
Unsure if these placebo
They’re giving me relief though

Then while I’m recovering
The whole thing starts repeating
It’s a kick to the chest
Decibel distress
Scramble for my friend
Pop the canister ingest
Collapse into rest
Until I’m beaten on again it’s torturous
Spinning down the spider’s thread
Rubbing my wrists red
And this keeps recurring, recurring
Suddenly feel the surge begin
See their eyes widening
Fear sets in I’m flipping beds
Levitating, exorcist
Wormhole my defence it opens up and sends them to their deaths

Quick fix blown out the airlock
Xenophobes looking like Xenomorphs
Resumé fit for death row
Slipping back further than Neo
I know I’ve got mental capital
But I’m feeling captive this bankroll Michigan
My crime has just turned capital
I think it’s time to pack it in
I’m complicit

Like Jack Torrance they frozen dead got no return flights
Two corpses drift out in the cosmos empty caskets
Executioner, axe-wielder, I’m the one who’s violent
Down to ground floor, open doors
Blood spills it consumes everything in sight
I have lost all control
Motives mixed, error code
Could say that my hands were tied
My mind was spinning tumble dry
Canister I tuck inside
Of the threat it will remind

Sheets washed a good thousand times
How many times have they been tied?
Hung out to dry?
Off that sink laid a line?
Kid crying out for his father’s lullaby
Ride this out what will be your life?
Six feet under and a one hit wonder
Ride this out what will be your life?
Six feet under and a one hit wonder

Butterfly to cut your grass
Staring out a wall of glass
Door handle to break the cuffs
Levitating put me out of touch
Try and catch me with the headlights
Stop me in my tracks
Tie me to the tracks
Underneath the gaslight
It was under the strike of light
Galvanist give him life

Six-foot-four monstrosity
They see me and cross the street
Scissorhands is all they see
Scissorhands will cut the leash

Carpet stained with lemonade
Completely derailed the train
Blown up ammonium nitrate
Shrapnel cut up my whole face
Bigger than the Empire State
King Kong on my back swiping attack planes
I’m out of place
Enticed by golden chains
Confined to a gilded cage

Popping holes in the waterbed
You keep me from sleeping
Tearing holes up in the chests
Of those who open theirs to me

Fallen in my lap but I think we’re still falling
Fallen in my lap but I think we’re still falling
Good to feel so tall until the neck starts hurting
Fallen in my lap but I think we’re still falling
Fallen in my lap but I think we’re still falling

Scissorhands is all they see
I’m without my memories
How long til more come after me?
Scissorhands what makes me me
This mansion is so empty
There’s only so much dust that I can breathe
Scissorhands have condemned me
Now they’re gonna set me free
Fallen in my lap but I think we’re still falling
Fallen in my lap but I think we’re still falling
(Fallen into my lap)
This entity’s my identity
I’ll use these hands to cut me free
This is the untethering
Make the man more than his dreams

Voice boxing, heavy hitting, two inside the ring
No longer tied together but the ropes still close us in
Fists up if you’re done with all the wallowing
Fill those lungs, suck the air, yeah listen for the ding
I’m going for the win, dick waving in the wind
Fuck you up on a whim
Beat you with that tiny violin
When I’m done yeah I’ll tuck you in
Everybody knows the first rule
But you don’t know the first thing about this cesspool
Let me take you to school

Done with the Stockholm syndrome
I’m jumping out the window
This vehicle ain’t a limo
It’s a hearse, hearse, hearse
Hearse ride that sky dives
Sick of feeling like I might die
So forgive me for trying
Sycophant just ain’t my vibe

Thought that you could end all this
Instead you just left us split
Now you’re completely powerless
Pummel you into subconsciousness
Two fish in the tank
Bubbles busting out the bank
Here you are trying to get this ship sank
Going down iced Jack
On that exponential
You were just a vessel
Now you’re going mental
Skull against the jail cell
Everybody knows the first rule
But you don’t know the first thing about this cesspool
Let me take you to school

Black ice
Discrete until it gleams in the sunlight
Black eye
Press it with the peas keep the swell light
Black ice
So pretty when it bleeds with the brake lights
Black eye
Capillaries stream it’s a sore sight

You should see the other guy
Beat him down and watch me rise
You should see the other guy
Beat him down I’m reaching heights
You should see the other guy
Beat him down and watch me rise
You should see the other guy
Beat him down I’m reaching heights

Things you saw they’d say you’re serrated
Sorer than some poor soul’s statement after Vegas
Signing divorce papers, laid it all on the table, shit
Split the bank like a Kit-Kat, have a breakdown
Save yourself, hands deep in the stainless
No amount of scouring can deflate this
Lady Macbeth, fallen into a state
Off-stage with the death, the killer Willy Shakespeare
I am the cause of all your great fears

Leech, you’re a leech, I can’t make out your face
Feed, here to feed, swelling with the taste
Of the mass adoration, the swarming of sapiens
You were deprived of back in your black lake
Need the kid with the baseball bat and roller skates
Hoping that he clocks me out one take
Caught in my own weight trying to erase my head
Banished motherfucker you’re basically Invader Zim

Wanted this shit so desperately
Legging it, centipede
Thought you got the best of me
You could only be the best with me
Luxuries can be poisoning
Liver disease and Hennessy
Clogged the drain of your pipe dreams
Like Elvis Presley’s arteries
You should see the other guy
Beat him down and watch me rise
You should see the other guy
Beat him down I’m reaching heights

Beaten to a pulp, no fiction
Pick yourself up, no bitching
Close yourself off, no stitches
Screw your head on with the Phillips
Take another sip from the spirits
Til your pissing nearly all straight missing
Men, men, men, men, menacing
Now that’s subliminal messaging

Host a benefit
The other show I overstepped
Power trip had me bent
It was an accident I swear
General public don’t suspect
Go ahead book me the square
I'mma break the one percent
And leave you buried in the trench

My flesh is tearing itself apart
Trying to shed my skin
My flesh is tearing itself apart
Trying to do me in
My flesh is tearing itself apart
Trying to shed my skin
My flesh is tearing itself apart
Trying to do me in

Overload feels like Gasper Noé
Headed low, going down got no brakes
Hands pressed against a flashing hallway
Stretching shape, the thin walls rotate
Endless doors, searching for an escape
Hear the calls of memories decayed
Distorted like cackling coyotes
Kick it down, met with my own face

Pouting like Pavlov’s dog kicked and abused
Projected in this hotel room
Footage of an anglerfish
Dangling a light in the black abyss
Watch it pull towards the light
Swallowed up into the night
I am the fish being consumed
That’s the message they were pushing through
If I trigger the incessant tune
Might be loud enough to break into
The conscious mind, poison inside
Prey and predator revised
Poseidon turning the tides
Dr Jekyll killing Hyde
Overload feels like Gasper Noe
Headed low, going down got no brakes
Beast in the belly make it nauseate
Gutting it with the noise I make

My flesh is tearing itself apart
Trying to shed my skin
My flesh is tearing itself apart
Trying to do me in

//

I’m hyper aware of my mental
Has that made me more mental?
I’m hyper aware of my mental
Has that made me more mental?
Trapped in the subconscious
I ain’t got no optics
Lost like a shoe in the moshpit
But I'mma hijack the crew of the cockpit

Think you’ll rise above but I’m that crab in the bucket
Submarine yeah, I be sending off a rocket
Think you can rise above but I’m that crab in the bucket
Submarine yeah, I be sending off a rocket
Hit me with one I’ll hit you with one too
If I’m going down yeah you going deep blue
Don’t know if this will work but I'mma scream fuck it
Ain’t got much choice when you’re locked in the dungeon

Think you’ll rise above but I’m that crab in the bucket
Submarine yeah, I be sending off a rocket
Think you can rise above but I’m that crab in the bucket
Submarine yeah, I be sending off a rocket
Don’t know if this will work but I'mma scream fuck it
Ain’t got much choice when you’re locked in the dungeon
Tied me up in the strings that control your puppet
Time to pull you round make you dance like a Muppet

I make you, make you go crazy
I make you go crazy
I make you, make you go crazy
M-m m-m-m m-Martin Scorsese

I’m struggling to focus
Thoughts swarming like the locusts
Trapped in a cabin that’s been snowed in
Or are they packed in like the Trojans?
Head hit with the echo
I’m reaching into the trench coat
Suppress it with the antidote
Feel the tension in the surface
I’m doubling up the dosage
It’s surging up the voltage
Could be going supernova

There’s a weight in my chest
That I cannot express
Like you’ve trapped a rat with a bucket
And it’s digging its way through my flesh
A weight in my chest
That I cannot express
Like you’ve trapped a rat with a bucket
And it’s digging its way through my flesh

I make you, make you go crazy
I make you go crazy
I make you, make you go crazy
M-m m-m-m m-Martin Scorsese

This the peak chic make them shriek
This the peak chic make them shriek
Catching stares from security
Bee drowning in honey, the buzz is crippling

By the light I’m kissed
Obliterating bliss, by the light I’m kissed
By the light I’m kissed
Obliterating bliss, by the light I’m kissed
This is what I’ve missed
Never felt love like this
How could this be?
Sending me a death wish but the star you wishing on is me
How could this be?
Sending me a death wish but the star you wishing on is me
By the light I’m kissed
Obliterating bliss, by the light I’m kissed
This is what I’ve missed
Never felt love like this
By the light I’m kissed
Obliterating bliss, by the light I’m kissed
By the light I’m kissed
Never felt love, never felt love

Uniform seats filled with heat
Crowd spilling like the sea
Ground swept from underneath the feet
Thick blanket of body steam, looking up to breathe
Pulled the love from their eyes
Clouds my insides crystallised
Swelling up a hundred sizes

Cut the legs off em
Exposing the bone left them shellshocked
Bedrock to bed rocking
Whole world on the dash yeah their heads bobbing
Cut the legs off em
Exposing the bone left them shellshocked
Bedrock to bed rocking
Whole world on the dash yeah their heads bobbing
Shadowboxing
Can’t connect with my opponent
Feel my heart throbbing
Chest blood red like the red robin

Shudder violent, shutter island
Close my eyelids keep it silent
Fireworks at a police riot, it’s about as quiet
Lit up like a floodlight
Cascading down the aisles
Hanging on the rungs of my spine
As it cuts a hole in the sky

It all started with the collision
Transmission within minutes
A rupture of cognition

This might be the tomb, this might be the tomb
I can’t tell what the fuck I’ve consumed
This might be the room, this might be the room
Melt your silver spoons, melt your silver spoons

What’s the life-cycle of a star?
The bigger that I get the more it starts to fall apart
What’s the life-cycle of a star?
The bigger that I get the more it starts to fall apart

What’s the life-cycle of a star?
The bigger that I get the more it starts to fall apart
Bigger that I get, bigger that I get
Led by the light, shooting lead into the light
What’s the life-cycle of a star?
The bigger that I get the more it starts to fall apart
Bigger that I get, bigger that I get
Led by the light, shooting lead into the light

Cut the legs off em
Exposing the bone left them shellshocked
Feel my heart throbbing
Chest blood red like the red robin

Day bleeds into the night
(What’s the life-cycle of a star?)
And the night bleeds out on the street
(The bigger that I get the more it starts to fall apart)
Day bleeds into the night
(What’s the life-cycle of a star?)
And the night bleeds out on the street








01. THE ROOM